You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
