It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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