Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize