i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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