I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
