Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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