So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
