i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
