Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
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Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize