If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
