is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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