I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
