what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
