haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize