I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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