I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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