I'm jealous of your bromance
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
