but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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