so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
