In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
