allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize