people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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