i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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