can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
