Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
