At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
