i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
