One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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