This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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