dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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