If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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