I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
