i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
