Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
