I can't watch pbs sober anymore
grandma shit on top of the toilet
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize