rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
my liver is dry heaving
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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