Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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