it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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