Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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