the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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