my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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