you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
