my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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