I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
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I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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