Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
