hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
