Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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