I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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