stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
