My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
