you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
