Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
