May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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