Kiss
Puke
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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