I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
