with your own penis?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
